Monday, November 22, 2010

RADIKAALIMARSSI 2010 - my story


On Saturday November 20th pro-cannabis friendlies were marching from Hesperia Park to the Parliament Building in Helsinki to light cigarettes, joints, bongs and whatever else at 4.20 pm to protest the immoral law of criminalizing nature.

I was there.

We left our friend's place in Petolahti, Ostrobothnia early on Saturday morning. We were late. We drove down to Pori watching an amazing sunrise (but that's another story entirely). We found the bus, as well as two "undercover" cops and a happy labrador. The dog marked two of us four and our bags were searched. Not very thouroughly, it was definitely quite laid back cops who were mainly looking for major amounts of illegal substances.

No one was kept from going on board. I guess we were all experiencing thc-deficiency more than illegally transporting drugs. Heh. Same in Turku, everyone got on, and everyone was excited.

The trip down to Helsinki went smooth until 10 minutes from the city center. A police car was clearly waiting for us to make that certain turn when they came after us, pulled us to the side, and within seconds a second police car was also present.

They called it a routine control. They talked to the driver, checked the tires, the logs and everything else for 25 minutes until giving the driver a 140€ ticket for something ridiculous and finally let us drive on. To the press they apparently said that it was not to stall the participants. Which cannot be true. This was one of the most obvious, ridiculous moves I've ever seen the police do.

As we had no chance of making it to the park to march we went straight for the Parliament Building. A big crowd was already there, as well as 50 some visible cops, apparently around 80 in total. The participants in the crowd were peaceful and happy to make a stand. What was the hardest to grasp was the amount of policemen present. They pushed people off the stairs, even press (credited or otherwise), and in the end they only arrested three people, of which only two were given fines. What exactly did they think we would do? Storm the building?

Finnish hemp minister Timo Haara was present, talking to t
he press and his fellow friends in the 200+ crowd.

Lots of regular cigarettes too, just for the sake of it.

The first big pipe was lit at 4.20 and the police were quick to wrestle down the smoker. The pipe did not have any illegal substances in it though.I would estimate that at least half of the crowd were smoking cannabis and I was happy to see no more than three being pulled away by police. This was peaceful disobedience, the way it should be. There were no victims (except the ones being taken by the police).

Peaceful hippies could not understand the laws and the police paws.

And all that just for this: a peace pipe.

In the bus home one of the participants read the headlines from all major media. It got all of us in a good mood for the long drive, because hardly any of the headlines or stories were aimed at us. Even media is mostly criticizing the police resources being used in such a useless way.

The message we were trying to spread was clear; You cannot criminalize nature. You are not above it, but a part of it. Don't separate yourself from that which makes sense.

//soulmama (all the way from Pietarsaari, who participated unfortunately without breaking the law)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Friday, July 30, 2010


I just got back from a stormy trip through Sweden, Denmark, Germany and Holland. Burg-Herzberg Festival, the good kinda smoke, friends and family.

It was exhausting and awesome, and this is what I will show for it:

Saturday, June 12, 2010

I'm off to CA!

We'll be sharing everything here:

"Oh, California I'm coming home
Oh, make me feel good rock'n roll band
I'm your biggest fan
California, I'm coming home


Oh it gets so lonely
When you're walking
And the streets are full of strangers
All the news of home you read
More about the war
And the bloody changes
Oh will you take me as l am?
Will you take me as l am?
Will you?"

Saturday, May 29, 2010

då jag började ifrågasätta kärleken själv

Love is not a definition. But other things are definitions of love. I hope you recognize them. They are the way to perfect understanding (and being) of the word itself.

oro och osäkerhet är väl också ett uttryck för kärlek. om rädsla är en del av alltet (kärleken) så då är rädsla också kärlek. det betyder väl å sin sida att uttryck för rädsla (oro, osäkerhet) också kan vara uttryck för kärlek? villkorslös kärlek i all ära, men man kan inte förneka delarna av helheten. oro och osäkerhet och liknande känslor ska inte förnekas. men då man väl har vågat känna dem kan man ändra dem till något positivt.

till och med rädslan för att förlora någon kan aldrig vara något annat än kärlek. även om det är en egenkärlek. om man tror på förlust kanske man inte helt förstått och accepterat sanningen. men man kan fortfarande älska.

jag vill inte se kärlek som något sämre än villkorslös kärlek. även villkorslös kärlek kräver sin definition. definitioner fungerar inte för mig nu. jag vet nog vad jag känner - men om det inte är tillräckligt, eller på "rätt" sätt, eller enligt någon annans definition så må det så vara. jag kan inte älska på något annat sätt. inte (än)nu.

det är något också jag själv måste ta ställning till, idag och för evigt. en ständig förändring innebär att jag ständigt måste omformulera mig själv. göra mig till den jag vill vara. jag är någon som älskar. på det här sättet. just nu. imorgon älskar jag helt säkert på något annat sätt. om det märks vet jag inte. om det är enligt er definition vet jag inte.

men jag älskar. det vet jag.

och därför finns jag.

Monday, May 24, 2010

there's only one of us. focus.

this weekend the universe has been giving and giving and giving. it has kept my mind open and i have had all the knowledge in the world. i have known my inner goddess. i have talked and smoked and believed. and loved.

coz i knew i was not to worry. i had to remain as the goddess. i had to have strength to laugh, although it seemed as the perfect lie. but it was truth. joy, truth and love. i was the goddess.

i hope the universe continues to give. and i know it does. i am grateful.

i just wish i could hold you,

and i wish that was enough.

Friday, May 21, 2010


alla trötta bankirhjärtan
drömmer om att rasera
deras monetära system.

alla trötta pastorshjärtan
drömmer om bokbål,
att förkasta den allsmäktige.

den allsmäktige som
fråntagit dem all makt.
den makt de fötts med.

kraften och tanken och friheten,
en människas fångenskap
i trötta, trötta bankirhjärtan.

och ondskan bevisar
att hjärtan dör snabbast
på toppen.

Friday, April 30, 2010

random hippies.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Monday, April 12, 2010

high on nature

an intense weekend got its perfect ending with a walk in the woods.

too many trails for my taste, but i'm glad i dare to look at what's happening above me. those are no clouds. i'm sorry, they're really not.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Hey, Hugo

Tomorrow, April 9th, we release the single Hey, Hugo. It is Univocal Music's first production, and a first sneak preview of Anna Phoenix's forthcoming album.

The two (the single also includes a duet with Sebastian Jacobson) songs featured will both be available for you to listen to tomorrow on Univocal's homepage, Anna's homepage and Anna's Myspace. Record Union are distributing the single digitally as we speak, and in a few short weeks you will find the single on most online music sites, to listen to or buy, such as Spotify, iTunes and

The single is released in loving memory of Hugo Nikula. It is dedicated to his family, friends and everyone else who is affected by Babylon's health care. To find out more you can contact me or maybe ask me tomorrow at After Eight when French singer-songwriter Nola performs (and Anna releases the single). Show starts at 8.

If you, like we do, hope for better mental health among young people and a development of the psychiatric care, please donate to: Hugo Nikulas Minnesfond, Aktia: 405500-1613657.


Thursday, March 04, 2010


i have moments when it feels like it's all just too much. i might cry a little over that fact. and over all the reasons it feels like it's all just too much. but i soon realize that i can't erase this feeling of exploding, it's part of my experience. i could not go on feeling less when i have felt this much.

i have changed my mind about a lot of things lately. for one thing: they say you can't love someone else before you love yourself. it sounds nice and true, until you think about the soul. i think the phenomenon of not loving yourself is part of the brainwashing we've gone through. it's just an idea. the soul can't do anything but love. i think that even if you sometimes can't feel that love for yourself you can always feel it when you love someone else. especially as you always love others for the same reasons you love yourself. we are all the same. it's okay to sometimes want someone there to love, because through that expression you also express your own self-worth. ah, it's a beautiful thing.

it also teaches you what to look for when you seem lost for things to love about yourself. remember what you've loved in others, and what they have said to love in you. the truth is plain to see. love is not a hard thing, really. it's just so fucking mindblowing that it sometimes scares the shit out of us.

but we have infinite power to be whoever we want to be, and do whatever we want to do. that doesn't mean we don't need, want or deserve someone to hold hands with. as a matter of fact it's a big part of that power. we are here on this earth, in this body to experience love. in all forms, the stronger the emotion the better - the more you learn - the more you love - the better it gets... you see the pattern? everything is better. all the time. if you dare to love a little and believe that we are all one but born separate to experience this life, and each other, to finally find the feeling of being One again.

i still just have an idea of how it all works. but i'm on the right track. i love and i am loved. i have done something right.

Sunday, February 28, 2010


footsteps in the snow.

Saturday, February 20, 2010


Monday, February 15, 2010


so i have to move. we're losing the studio and i'm losing my home. i somehow thought that when i move the next time it would be to somewhere else. this is an in between period i hadn't counted on. so it's stressful. i want to live in a place that has a soul. where i can get inspired and work. those places don't grow on trees. but i have hope. i have support. i know this will turn out for the better. eventually. in the meantime i will enjoy my last month here with pama the clown. much love.

Thursday, January 28, 2010



now i have truly felt how it can hurt to love someone this much. i have also, finally, seen how beautiful that feeling is. not to know what to do, where to turn to, how to manage a feeling so strong that it breaks every boundary of the mind. it's a truly spiritual phenomenon. it took me 23 years and finally i know how i should live my life. even though it's hard sometimes, this is how much i have to feel and love to be one with everything around me. to love myself. i'm so humbled by the fact that someone taught me to teach myself how to truly trust that i am worthy. i owe that man everything.

i'm truly blessed to have had the chance to look into someone's eyes and see that i am truly beautiful and lovable. i hope that same someone can look into my eyes sometime soon and see just how amazing he is. i'm ready to give everything back, and fill us both to the point where we are overflowed by oneness and love.

i get what i deserve. and so do you.
the universe will hear me. the universe will see me.
and the universe will send all this love to him
whether or not i am there in physical form
to share his love for himself.

Friday, January 22, 2010

worth quoting

An Pierlé - Nobody's fault

I've done it again
Forced me to
Another piece in my collection
of plays with you

I've done it again
even several times
I guess it really takes a lot of beating
before you cry

Alright, I've been blind

But nothing ever happens
Some things won't ever change
And if I'm being inconsiderate
I'm ashamed

And it's always something different
The grass is greener on the other side
I guess I've always been a dreamer
With a dirty mind

But it's nobody's fault
And if someone arranged this for me
getting his kicks out of it
It's not my fault

I've done it again
I was weak again
I guess I lost my chance of heaven
Before it came

Alright, I've been blind

If something ever happens
And I've no chance to say goodbye
This is my way to say I'm sorry
One last time

But it's nobody's fault
And if someone arranged this for me
Getting his kicks out of it
It's not my fault

And if someone arranged this for me
Getting his kicks out of it
It's not my fault
It's not my fault

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

the journeymen

i promote the journeymen nowadays.
these pics are from their gig at
el gringo in vasa, january 17th.
reggae love.

Saturday, January 16, 2010


"Om man är full av kärlek ryms ingen crap."

"If you're full of love there's no room for crap."

- Mickel Sahlström
a good friend indeed <3

Monday, January 11, 2010


this life is one hell of a trip.

jingle jams.

the first ride i ever fixed
for some of the journeymen.
they were no walking men,
but it might have reminded them
of a police transport in a country
long lost and forgotten.

sunrise, sunrise.

everything is love.
even tomatoes.

Thursday, January 07, 2010


my laptop is sort of named after him. charlie is the name of my laptop. she's a tomboy, but a real poet. just like bukowski.

“You begin saving the world by saving one person at a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics.”
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose.”

"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."