dealing

things happen sometimes. to people you know. they might end up in a hospital, or in a new lover's bed.

i have to learn how to deal with all these things outside myself. these things barging into me, without notice. dealing with me being separated from these people and these things. dealing with me being too close.

i have a hard time.






and i am back in virtuality after months in a bigger place. back in the small, back in the cosy. back for how long? i have too many issues, let me get out of your hair.

2008

a new year with new expectations. so much turn out to nothing. it's a part of life. you can guess what turned out to nothing of the things i mentioned last time i wrote.

but i sing along to damien rice and keep myself from doing the dishes for as long as i can. i spend time with the best of the best and i sleep like a baby when he's close. i plan for recording sessiones and photo sessions and nostalgia sessions.

he takes a long bath and i'm close. i scrub his back and know that if there is something i'm supposed to do it is just that. keeping him clean. keeping him loved.

a.